One blink of an eye and they were gone.
How could it be a year ago when my heart aches like it happened one single minute ago?
I think back often of how that first two weeks played out and how I know nothing of what happened besides missing them.
Its The day my life somehow stopped....I didnt think about work deadlines, sales that were ending, who I had to call, friends birthdays or what I was going to eat. I didn't think about posting on facebook, bills that needed to be paid, if my plants needed to be watered, wines that needed to be ordered, customers who needed return calls, tires that needed to be rotated......I thought of none of that daily stuff that fills your head like white static. It was like someone clicked me "off".
That has never happened to me before.
My brain turned on only for them - trying to remember every memory possible about them. How my grandpa used to smoke a pipe and the sound you would hear through the house of him pounding it on the ashtray to clean out before he pulled the tobacco package out of his left shirt pocket to fill it and then the zippo lighting and walking into a puff of perfect smelling pipe smoke.....The high voice he would use sometimes, especially when talking to babies.....the way he crossed his legs and rested his folded hands on his knees.....how he would offer everyone a shot of brandy when they stopped over - and having a shot WITH everyone that stopped over......his ridiculous haircuts my gram would give him with the razor, forgetting 20% of it so there was hair sticking out everywhere.....his quest to finally get me married to the highest bidder..... his love of soup, stealing spoons, instant coffee, donuts, cookies, pie, circus peanuts, peppermints, potato pancakes, potatoes, cowboy boots, reading the paper, time magazine, brandy, his coffee cup which he never wanted washed, visitors, walking around his yard, his bushkas and holding my hand at church.
Then there was gram - Her bun on top of her head conveys "her" the best....My fondest memories is with her bent over a flower garden digging in the dirt. She loved flowers and plants - irises, gladiolas, peonies, poppies, lillies and christmas cactuses...She loved growing vegetables and eating them. She would drink pickle juice, boatloads of wine and instant coffee like it was water. She wore the funniest shoes and costume jewerly, believed in God above all else and was the most thoughtful person Ive met, always thinking about everyone but herself. She loved coins, plates, cooking (and she was the best) drinking coffee, ginger cookies, reading, and reading and reading.....I can remember her always rubbing her hands together all fast and throwing her head back to laugh and giggle.
Then I remember them - It was never one or the other - it was THEM TOGETHER. They werent apart. Ever. They loved each other so hard. They were committed and loyal, gracious and completely ridiculous. To their family and each other. The stories when people talk about great love - they were told because of them
So many things in my every day life reminds me of them - every trip I go on I see postcards that I want to send them...it still makes my heart drop...Sundays are hard not being able to take them to church and have my alone time with them. My website has been pushed to the wayside as more then half of it was stories of them and I just cant bear to change it. Ive had people still ask me about them up until just last week "how are your grandparents? Tell me a funny church story" - And people are so taken aback when I tell them they were killed in a car accident. together. But really what a love story.
I know it was for the best - I know they are in a better place and I know its great to know they are up there together- as they would have wanted.
And I will celebrate their lives as I have been. I will travel, live, love and experience. I will write postcards to Jack and love him so much he may burst before hes 2. I will drink coffee and go to church on Sundays and tell their story. I will start this damn website again and I will continue to live on. Honestly I find myself healthier mentally than I ever have in my life. Content, happy, positive. Its pretty amazing. Out of such tragedy brings such a positive outcome. ..Im the lucky one to have had them. I was the lucky one.
SO cheers to them today - November 16th - I will have a cup of instant coffee and then many glasses of wine
I've been thinking about how to write about something so precious as love. And my beautiful grandparents can tell the story through theirs.
They met. They fell in love . She picked him up in a pretty dress and said" let's go to Iowa today and get married". And they did. They, like many other couples back then, were forbidden to marry as he was catholic and she, Lutheran.
They had 5 children. They had a farm and my grandfather worked at Banta for years.
I grew up going there every single weekend. As I got older, I continued to keep them a huge part of my life.
Im not sure how to describe something so dear. or how to tell you how important they were.
Words haven't been able to come together.
Sentences never seem to form.
I think about their life and how it formed mine. I think of the love they shared. It wasn't the usual story book kind of love- pretty and respectful and fantasy-like. It was raw and Aggressive and completely real.
They fought, and yelled, and held hands at the tAble. They nuzzled each other, made fun of each other and grabbed each other inappropriately. She hit him with a fly swatter when he acted up. She told her often he wanted to trade her in for a newer model. They fought over cookies and coffee and who's turn it was to start the stove for hot wAter.
But you could see it always.
They were ultimately so in love-to the point where they seemed lost if the other wasn't there. They laughed at each other always. I would catch her looking at him, just staring at him, shaking her head. And so proud. Of me and every single other family member. She made all of us feel like we were the favorite.
I shared my faith with them. We went to church together and that's were most of my blogs funny stories cAme from. Even if your religion was different then mine or you have none at all, it was easy to appreciate the stories and even easier for me to talk about God because of them.
And my heartache is there. Like nothing I've ever felt before. Everything else in my life seems not as important. Or maybe it really is just more important. Clarification has taken the stage and all These little things that I was holding and that I thought were so big - they are gone. Feelings have changed immensely in me. Some have gone away and some have strengthened. I have also taken note of myself and have had more than one conversation with myself about my past, present and future.
I've taken some major steps in having a more honest, communicative, positive and meaningful life.
Im getting rid of obligations that aren't mine to carry.
And I'm smiling much more.
I've never felt more content with my insides as an adult. And that's the gift they left me. Love, faith, clarification and the right to believe in myself, as they always did. I am like them. I am not the usual.
Oh Gram - She taught me to love God, be forgiving and always remember who you and where you are going.
If you've been in my house, it's a jungle, like hers. Her love of plants has rubbed off.
She was an amazing cook and I'd like to think I'm pretty good at it too.
She loved wine and I KNOW I'm VERY good at that...she also sent cards and handwritten notes all the time and I do as well. There is something amazing about getting a handwritten card or letter in the mail. I love it so I try to do that with fam and friends.
Throughout the last 15 years i have been sending my grandparents post cards from every trip i have been on. I have already found over 60 as we clean out the house. I know she loved living through my travels and always loved to read the postcards to gramps and anyone else who would listen. I love a sunrise and sunset and try to see them both on a daily basis and have woken up more then one person and dragged them out to see it. My gram loved watching them too. And she could forecast the next days weather by what the sunset looked like.
My gramps was one of a kind. He loved me . I knew that. He told me all the time. He always had a soft spot in my heart. I will never forget dancing with him so many times, his hand on my back and a smile on his face. I won't forget his love of stealing spoons everywhere he went as we still find them everywhere around the house.
My faith has continued to be the light to see me through terrible times.
And then its been there as comfort in amazing times.
I love them. More than I've ever loved anything else. They were the only sure thing I've ever had. The only thing I knew was always there. Unconditional love is real. They showed it to me every single day. And they were so proud. I was never embarrassed to speak of my successes or my life.
They have touched my life in every facet. My traveling- I always send postcards.
When I speak at wine events, I always started with a story about them and finished with one too.
Most Sundays I would go to church and go after for cookies and that awful instant coffee. I thought about them during the week and would talk to them often. I never realized how much they were intertwined until they are now gone.
And that's because of most of you.
Since that awful night I have received so much support. I've gotten almost 50 cards and they still come in the mail. 100s of Facebook posts and inbox messages. Tons of emails and texts and phone calls. Some of you added to my Jungle by sending flowers or plants to my house or the church. Some of you sent money which I donated to the church's new building fund. Some people came to the funeral to support my family and listened to a lovely service. My job was so supportive and gave me time off and I had 2 full pews of support. Wineries from California sent flowers and wine (thank you and yes I already drank it all). Other families sent food to our homes knowing we weren't thinking of cooking and didn't have time or the effort. Some of my customers bought food, sent flowers and sent out company emails to make staff aware. People who didn't even know me well, have sent cards and showed their condolences. A wonderful man I've met through wine events showed up at the funeral to meet them as he'd heard so many stories through me. How amazing.
Then there was My closest friends and loved ones. Who were just there. All the time. And I wasn't easy or pleasant I'm sure.
I am so overwhelmed by everyone's love and support. It makes me weep. It gave me peace. it restored my faith in people and what we can look forward to in a time of need. I have no idea why I deserve it but what I can say is its them. My grandparents. Their love has shone through. You all see it in my writings and in MY posts. That kind of effect is mind blowing. I'm humbled still. Thank you so much
And my life will move forward with the millions of memories I have. They will make me laugh, cry and smile. I was so blessed to be a part of their love story.
Their life did end with the most classic Romeo and Juliet love story....leaving this world just 25 minutes apart. They couldn't live without each other here in the world and their was no way they wanted to find out what life was like in heaven without each other. Their heaven WAS each other.
I have been really down the last 2 days.
They kind of down that you have no control over.
They kind of down that sneaks up on you and just seems to make a home in you, like a wood tick burrowing in your skin, thinking hes found a nice place to stay when really he is so unwanted.
My grandparents make me smile. All the time.
They always have.
Lately when I have been with them I find myself not smiling.
I find myself worrying and trying to solve problems they have been encountering as they age. For those of you that have gone through this, or are going through this.....Im sorry for you and please feel sorry for me back. Its awful. Pills, diapers, infections, the right food, cleanliness and the list could go on for pages more. Its more than hard to watch.....Its stressful, draining and just plain awful. And for them it must be so much worse. My grandma has cried the last 3 times I've been there. Shes sad and ashamed and embarrassed of things happening. Things she doesnt have much control over....It has to be so hard to watch your husband, your life partner and love, start to fall away from reality. To start forgetting who his grand kids are, to start forgetting if he ate lunch and to not remember the 3 words she has asked him to recite for the last 2 months about 10 times a day.....
She asks him over and over all day long and he was remembering at least apple for the first month or so. Now he cant remember any, even if she just told him 2 minutes before. I watch her face silently fall and her folded hands just twist her ring back and forth when he cant remember, likes shes trying to pray through her wedding ring... And he tries so hard and gets so frustrated. And then Sometimes he doesn't even remember what shes talking about with reciting words....."Gram what are you talking about - words?"
But - If you want to know where he went while in the Navy on the boat in the war- He can tell you in detail. He can tell you the names of most of his dogs for the last 40 years. He can remember addresses and friends and how to run machines at Banta where he worked for many years. He told my brother and I how to run a printing press yesterday, he talked about good management skills with bosses and how many loaves of bread he had to make on the boat for his men...
This coming from the man who didn't remember who my sister was, the man who constantly scans the room for grandma or me in a room full of family because he feels like they are strangers, the man who cant always make it to the bathroom and thought he was married to my gram for "about 30 years he guesses' - even though they just celebrated 62 years. And when I told him 62 years he about had a heart attack that he lived with her for that long without kicking her out. :)
They are amazing - but they are getting old and its overwhelming and so sad that my favorite, consistent loving part is coming to an end. Its overwhelming that yesterday it all hit me and tears haven't seem to have stopped leaking through the cracks since.
Its so sad thinking he may not remember me soon.
Apple guitar and table ring through my head constantly.......
Here they are - my grandparents.
I went to church this morning with them- we sang songs and then it came to the prayer of the day and the pastor wanted everyone to pray for them and their 62 years together. My grandpa clearly has a hearing problem....and throughout church doesn't really pay attention - but he refuses to get hearing aids.
Anyway, he hears the pastor say his name and his head shoots up and he starts looking up at the front of the church - then he looks at me and gram and his hands go up like "what?" as everyone has their heads bowed. I shoo him and put my folded hands up so he prays.
After church everyone keeps coming up and saying Congratulations- he pulls me aside and says
"whats going on - why is everyone saying that?"
I say - "Its your anniversary"
He says - "its my birthday?"
"no, your anniversary - 62 years"
he says "52 years?"
I shoo him again and he shakes hands and we leave.
We went back to their house and were visiting with other family members.
They really are something special.
In 5 minutes they can be yelling at each other about his sugar - loving eating habits, she could be giving him a loving touch on his hands, she calls him a Rooshin or Mikey, he tells her she didn't make him breakfast and shes a bad wifey, she giggles like a school girl and he says "what am I going to do with you woman".
They are so clearly in love still- after all of these years.
Its passionate, comfortable and amazing. I look up to them and their love.
I love that my grandma bought him that tie because it matched her shirt and she loves flowers.
I love that he wore that tie.
I love that almost all of my family made it to celebrate with broasted chicken with all the fixins.
I love that my grandpa slammed 2 huge glasses of brandy and my gram sipped on Barefoot White Zinfandel.
I love that halfway through lunch, my grandpa was worried that he didn't have enough beer at the house or brandy for that matter and wondered if we could make a beer run on the way home.
I love that my grams slip showed today.
I loved watching him, watching her, at all times - not only making sure she was alright but because it comforted him and reminded him he was were he was supposed to be. He has Alzheimers- beginning of it, and its hard for him to always know whats going on when there is so many people around- and just the sight of her comforts him.
I love the smile she gives him - she looks at him like she is so proud that he is her husband- and she honestly giggles like a school girl around him still...
Lastly I love that they are mine - they are my blood, they are my soul, they are MY grandparents. Just knowing that I have a part of them in me makes me happy to know I could be even a little like them throughout my life. I am lucky.....every. single. day. that they are here.
Happy 62 years to you gram and grampa
I sat down at church this morning.....I walked in right at the bell so.....in my grandparents eyes that is late as we are usually there 25 minutes early making sure no one steals "their" pew.
I took off my coat and then preceded to take off my gloves. The pastor was already talking and suddenly my grandpa grabs my left hand and loudly says "Oh my your finally getting married." The word "married" has sparked my grams attention and she turns to me and pats my leg. I look at him and shake my head NO. I am wearing a band on my ring finger......as I always do. His excitement turns to disappointment and I shove a hymnal at him.
Im going to stray from this story for a minute....Believe me it gets good.....but why is it that if a woman wears a ring on "THAT" finger it atomatically means your married, getting married or taken. What if I like to wear a ring on that finger because thats the only finger it fits on. My left hand has been broken more than once so it smaller....i liked the ring....it fits on that one....
Alright - I move forward.
We get back to their house for donuts and instant coffee and I go to the bathroom....I return to my grandpa yelling about my grams slip.
"gram why is your slip showing and did you wear that to church"
Gram - "yes I wore it to church have you seen me change?"
Gramps- "Well why are you showing all the men at church your undergarments"
Gram - "I dont know what your talking about"
Gramps, slamming his fist on the table -" Is that why that guy came up and talked to you- are you advertising for some men"
Now - some man came up and talked to both of them but hes forgotten that it was both of them and thinks it just her and he also thinks that my gram is showing her lingerie because she wants a new man. Like she is bating them - similar to the way he feeds the deer apples. They have been married 62 years and he is jealous. Its super cute. She ignores him and throws him a "dunker" donut.
Then he asks me if I am getting married yet. I told him no, that would be difficult without a groom. He then sits back like he is thinking very hard. He puts his hand on his chin and looks at me with the most sincere face and Says "Do you know what your missing?"
Do I know what I am missing? Really......
i say "no grampa why dont you tell me what I am missing?"
He thinks for a second and I honestly cant believe my gram hasnt butted in the conversation but for once she is quiet - waiting to see what he will say.
He says "well kids" - He said " I have 5 and they come over and visit and thats nice"
I will give him that. I tell him "someday" and then he said "well honey you better start looking because your getting old"
He asked if maybe I was too picky or maybe if I worked too much.
He asked if when I go on all these trips why I couldnt find a nice man.
He asked if I went on dates and if I was nice
He asked if my friends maybe new someone
He asked If maybe I read to much like Gram
He asked if my car was driving ok
He asked again if I worked too much
He asked if I liked my job
He asked if I wanted one of the gross donuts
he asked If I wanted another cup of instant coffee
He asked if I wanted to go out and feed his cat with him
He asked if I wanted a shot of brandy with him
He asked If my ex still lived in my old house which he actuallly called a "mansion"
He asked if I wanted to read the paper with him
He then asked one more time "are you sure your not getting married?"
My grandma told him to be quiet
As i was leaving he thanked me for the bottle of brandy I bought him, squeezed my hand and asked me If I could find someone to marry me....and then he hugged me and told me he loved me. and that if I wanted I could come again.
I told him to worry about grandmas slip - not me. he then stopped asking me questions and I left to him tugging at my grams slip and him giving her the third degree about trying to get a new man...
Wild one today
So Another normal Sunday morning - go to church with Gram and Gramps....
Go back to their house for Instant Coffee
Grandpa comes in from taking off his church clothes and eyes up grams hand
He says "what are you eating Gram?"
She ignores him
He tries to walk up and look and she swings her arm under the table so he cant see
Now hes upset
"Gram what do you have under there?"
Now before I go any further I will digress.....All they do most of the day, everyday, is drink instant coffee and eat cookies (usually from Aldi) and toast. Its crazy and not healthy but who am I to stop them at this point.
Just so you know - she has an english muffin hiding under the table which she now holds up to show him.
Gram - "This is mine!"
Gramps - "why cant I have one"
Gram - "No its mine"
Gramps starts looking all over for one of these muffins- which he doesnt find.
He goes back to Gram who has been watching him look for something that she knows he will never find.
She laughs at him. He slams the table with his fist, spilling her coffee.
Gramps - "Gram I want one"
Gram says "fine you old goat I will get you one"
She waddles over to the pot and pan drawer (knowing he will never go in there) and she opens it up and pulls out a half eaten package of english muffins.
Gramps - "why are you hiding all the good stuff from me?"
Gram - "you dont like these"
He grabs it and shoves it in the toaster.
"Who says I dont like them - I love them"
We all go sit down at the table. He butters his barely toasted english muffin and then puts on jam. He starts eating it. Halfway through the first one he says
"Gram what is this?"
Gram - "its an english muffin like I told you?"
Gramps - "Why do they call it an english muffin?"
He looks at me and I have no idea - I shrug and shake my head
Gram says "I dont know- cuz thats what they ate"
Gramps says "those damn Limeys"
I stop reading the paper and look up - Limeys? What does that mean?.
I ask Gramps - Gramps whats a limey?
He continues eating and says "the damn english - all of britian if they were sailors in the war they were called limeys" And he said it like I should have known that. DUH AMber.
I didnt really get my question answered though as to WHy? they were called that but I honestly dont think he knew so I disregarded.
Gram "What did they call Americans that were sailors on a ship in the war"
She waited 2 seconds and then said.........and I kid you not-
Oh my gosh....she didnt. I shot a look at her and scolded her saying "Gram we just got out of church"
She started laughing and of course......because she started laughin so hard she couldnt catch her breath and started coughin and weezing.
I look at Gramps and he looked at me and said "see what I put up with"
Gramps "No gram they called us Gobes"
Now again -" What is a gobe?" I ask as Gram finally starts to catch her breath and calm down..
She doesnt let him reply because she interrupts him and says - "a gobe of shit - thats what it means"
Now I tried not to laugh the first time - kind of like when a 2 year old swears and you have to try to keep a straight face otherwise if you laugh - they will continue to swear......Welll I couldnt help it this time. I started laughing and laughed for what seemed like 5 straight minutes. Gram was coughing, laughing and weezing too.....Gramps didnt find it funny.
He finished his english muffin and turns to Gram
"Gram I dont like those english muffins - why do you make me eat it?"
And thats the rest of the story.....as Paul Harvey would say
Ive been blessed to be able to spend a lot of time with my grandparents this month as I've been home a lot of the month. Ive gone to church with them almost every Sunday - then we have coffee. One Sunday in early Decemeber we put up the Christmas tree. My grandma planted the pine 7 years earlier and Grandpa was so proud that we had it sitting in the living room, smelling great and standing tall. He kept repeating every 10 minutes how we had to make sure and take a picture of her next to it. i put on the lights and then slowly started to put on ornaments. This lasted hours as every ornament had a story. Which was pretty neat to hear. She had ornaments from the 1800s that still looked like they were made yesterday. She had ornaments that her kids (my uncles) made when they were in kindergarten. Ornaments from Czech and some ornaments that could have been retired but they all meant so much to her. A really great day. When we were done, we sat down to a hard to swallow cup of instant decaf coffee and stared at the tree. Gramps came in too. WIthin minutes the conversation went from the tree to why my grandpa is a whiny baby and then he yells out to her "well I rode a camel and shot a goose - what did you do?"
I had no idea where this came from but instantly she shut up and sat up. She looked at him and said "i will cook your goose mikey" As you know his name is not mikey, but steve. He erupts and our quiet moment of looking at the tree is gone. I am laughing. He looks at me and I told him I rode on an elephant once. He looked satisifed with that answer and looked back at gram. She was smiling like a teenager in love and asked "how did it feel to ride on those humps?" His anger went away like it never existed and he sat back to contemplate - he then said "well it wasnt really accomodating"
Ok well - great. He then told me he was in North Africa and stared to tell the story. Gram interupts and says" I hope he spit on you" Great. That went over poorly. He got up and said "women I dont know about you" and went to read the paper.
Another quick story - today (dec 27) is my gramps birthday. we had soup and grams famous christmas torte. Everyone was gone but just a few of my cousins and my grandparents. I was showing some pics and I came across a "naughty pic" that a friend had sent me. It was a joke about a foot disease and there is a guy holiding up his infected foot but you can also see his penis - yes I said penis as Im not sure what else to call it on here - anyway. My cousin sees it from behind me and starts laughing. My gramps was watching "antiques roadshow" in the room next to us and looks up.
Now my gram says "what are you laughin about?" Can I see it?"
I say no. You may not.
My other cousin comes up and looks. Hes laughing uncontrollably.
Now gram says "come on let me look"
I tell her its inappropriate and she doesnt want to.
She asks what its a pic of.
I say a joke about a boy and you can see his privates.
She says "you think i aint seen a pecker before - let me see it"
So against my better judgement- I let her see it. She looks and then says "oh my god' and puts her hand to her mouth. She starts laughing and then choking. Turns red. I havent seen her laugh that hard in years. Then we all start laughing at her reaction. I was almost crying I was laughin so hard.
My gramps hears this commotion and yells over the crazy loud tv because he cant hear "what are you all laughing about? Gram? Gram?
My gram says she saw a dirty joke and he becomes interested quickly.
He says "Gram close your eyes you cant see that stuff" Oh my god"
Well - we all settle down. Its quiet. We change the subject for a split second.
All of a sudden my grams hand goes into the chip bowl and she grabs a handful of chips and says "oh my god I have to eat some chips after seeing that! I am so hungry now!"
Insane laughter rings out in the kitchen and my gramps is off his rocker and in the kitchen to see what kind of dirty pics are being handed around. We tell him we are doing nothing wrong but gram cannot get the smile off her face which makes him even more upset so he goes to sit down and refocus on Antiques Roadshow. Always a fun time with them. Always
They are an emotional handful of trouble and so completely in love. They still communicate which many older couples dont. Actually a lot of young couples dont either. They share coffee and talk. They are lost without each other, for real. That is where that sentence comes from in life. It was amazing to spend the time before, during and now after the holidays with them.....
As i drive to Waupaca super early every Sunday this crosses my mind "I wonder if they will do something funny this week." I'm speaking of my grandparents. And of course they never fail to do something that makes me laugh. But today, today was different....awesome.
picture it, at church in our pew very close to the front so we can hear. We have all the rows behind us full of people and 2 rows of regulars in front of us. I notice right away that Gramps has forgotten his glasses AGAIN. Great. Gram notices this too as we are singing the first hymn. Grandpa is holding the hymnal upside down and pretending to read it so she doesnt notice- we are on 219. He is who knows where because its upside down. My gram smacks him, he fake jumps all startled, and he looks down at her and shes tapping on her glasses and then shook her pointer finger at him, silently scolding him. I, of course, am trying not to laugh. He shuts the book and looks forward, then turns to me and says "i may as well go home." I dont look at him, continue singing and shake my head at him.
Church goes on and we pray and sing and listen quietly. We had a pleasant surprise after the sermon that the Senior Bell Choir was going to play! great. They start and all of a sudden I see her slap his leg. He jumps startled and looks at her. Out of the corner of my eye I can see her plugging her nose. Im not sure if she was signaling to him that he had a bloody nose (this happens often) or what. I look over at her now and hes looking at her too. He shrugs at her like "what?" He touches his nose and looks at his hand - nothing? He looks at her again and shrugs - she grabs her nose again and sticks out her tongue like shes gagging or something. Now Im even more confused? I didnt see anything wrong with him and I didnt smell anything out of the usual weird normal so?
I could tell she was getting fiesty though. So the bell choir is chiming away and everyone is quiet and all of a sudden my Gram can't help it anymore she is so irritated with my gramps for not knowing what shes trying to silently say to him - she yells out "DID YOU STEP IN SHIT WITH YOUR SHOES?"- Oh my God - she did not just yell that in a completely quiet church except for the damn old lady bell ringers in the balcony - did she? Yes she did.
I tried not to laugh I swear. Tried being the word.
The people in front of us were very still as my grandpa now tries to look at his shoe to see if he did, by chance, step in shit. He looks at her and says "no gram"
I am laughing. The bells are done. We are supposed to stand now and I know at least 5 rows have heard her if not more. As we stand to say prayers I cant stop laughing (not out loud laughing- the hold back laugh were u cant look at anyone in the eyes for fear you will spit all over them and laugh out loud so hard and my eyes were watering)
As we leave church they both seem to have forgotten that this has happened. I, have not. As we walk out people are looking at us and Gram says hello and waves. Friendly people today.
We get outside and Gramps says "so you getting married yet?"
Nope - wipe the shit off of your shoes please
Today was yet another exciting morning with my grandparents....
In Church we had communion today which as you know comes towards the end of the service. Before we could go up for the INDIVIDUAL (YES) cup my gram has slapped his hand twice and my grandpa has pinched her at least 3 times.....Now remember this is a loving pinch and slap...She just shakes her head as I shake mine at both of them.
We make our way up to the altar and get on our knees. Pastor brings us the wafer then the other pastor brings the lil cups of wine. Out of the corner of my eye I see my grandpa take his - He puts it up to his lips and drinks it...Now the next step is to set it with all the other cups on the altar but no - he proceeds to tip it back more - his head wayy back and he almost falls backwards. This is comical but it gets better - he starts licking out the tiny plastic cup and uses his other had to gentley tap the cup, like its stuck and he has to get every last drop like he paid for it or something. The rest of us have already started to get up to walk away.....and as he notices this he jumps up like we were disturbing him. I await patiently for him to start going to make sure he gets downt the steps alright. Gram, who can barely walk, is speed walking and almost to her seat and here we are falling behind so he can suck out (or lick out) every last drip of Jesus' blood. Awesome. I shake my head and try not to start to smile, afraid if I do I will start to laugh in front of church and I just took communion for heavens sake.....So we make our way back and gram is giving him a monster dirty look. Bad. He looks at her and knows hes in trouble but has no idea why so he gives her the "what gram" with his hands up in the air. She swats at him and turns from him irriatated. no love in that shun. Now he does what most men do when their loved ones are mad at them....POUT. He doesnt open up his hymnal (which he doesnt realize he is usually on the wrong page anyway) and he wont look at her or at the pastor. He pouts and has his eyebrows in a scowl.
After a song he seems to forget and starts to look around. theres some prayers etc and then the last song. Its on page 208. He goes to 214 and then looks at mine. I point to 208. He point to 214 and then to the front of the church where the board reads the page numbers for the songs. I point again to the 208. He shakes his head. We are now on verse 3 and I am singing and pointing to 208 and want to whisper to him that I know its right because I am singing but he cant hear so whats the use. He forgot that we already sang that song but he was pouting and didnt open up for that song. now the Songs over. Church is over - he now has the hyman at 208. We get up to leave. He still continues to sit there with his hymnal open. Gram nudges him, irritated.....Mikey lets go. ahh no. we already know that drives him wild. We get outside and he says - why didnt we sing the last song Gram? Gram is so beyond herself irriated she walks by him and gets in the truck. We get back for instant coffee and he asks again. She throws an aldi fig newton at him and asks me when Im getting married. Awesome
Just another amazing morning with my grandparents. They are super sweet
potato pancakes were one of the main topics of conversation tonight. My grandpa cant remember what he did at noon, my sisters name or if he drove to the store that day but he can tell you who makes the best potato pancakes in most of Wisconsin. We had a very in-depth conversation about them tonight and I had not seem them this serious about something since my uncle was in the hospital. The conversation starts with regular pancakes and my grandpa says to gram
Gram - wheres my pancake for supper
Gram says - go make your own pancake old man
Grampa slams his hand which is holding a spoon he has just stirred his instant coffee with, on the table and says in whiny childs voice "ahhh gram please"
Gram says "why dont you make me some potato pancakes
Now Im not sure where this has come from. I dont know why or how she brought this up but my grandpa says -
"yes gram lets have some potato pancakes"
THey then tell me no one makes them anymore - a place in King, a place in Red Granite (which is a 20 minute conversation about the quarries there and everytime they go past she gets the chills that she once saw a bus full of school kids getting a tour and she was scared one was going to fall in and drown and that shes had nightmares about it since. That was over 15 years ago) (sigh)
and also a place in marshfield.
I never knew potato pancakes were such a sought after item and then my grandpa tells me i should open up a potato pancake restaurant and sell wine. I am shaking my head as I write this. Well grandpa I have a feeling that this may not be the best idea out there but he sure seems to think it will work. Me flippin latkes in the air and slamming cabernet floats through my head and I chuckle out loud. Where do they come up with this stuff. It gets better -
They have a cat. It is a stray outside cat that they both like and feed and it sleeps in the garage. My grandpa wont feed it but constantly asks Gram is she fed it yet. He asked her at that moment and she said - why dont you feed it? He said it wasnt his duty as it was hers. She gets angry and throws a cookie at him and said "its my job to feed you too"
Then he tells me he wants to get a dog but its such bullshit he has to get it a liscence. He refuses. Gram asks him what the problem was - he has a liscence to drive? He says nothing
SHe says " you needed a liscence to marry me - WHy did you do that if you hate to have a liscence so bad"
I feel like Im watching a game of tennis as my head goes from left to right and back as they bicker back and forth. Its a sight.
He is speechless about the marriage liscence thing and that makes Gram so happy as she knows she has won - She starts to laugh as coffee sprays out her mouth. Grampa starts to laugh too. I shake my head. He says if he could go back he wouldve never got a liscence so he could be free. She threw another cookie at him, it lands in his lap. He fishes it out of his lap, starts to eat it with his right hand while pinching her boob with the left hand. She smiles and drinks her coffee. I think in my head "check please" and head for the door
Just another day with the grandparents