I helped my gram with her obituary.
It wasnt what I was expecting to do when I got there - but - as I sat down to a piping hot cup of decaf instant coffee, I was thrown a piece of scribbled on paper to read. I started to read and then realized what it was. My heart skipped a beat and my stomach scrunched but I gave her no reaction. It talked about her family and how she loved flowers and reading etc..... I read on and with both sets of eyes on me.....
grampa says "what you readin"
Gram snaps at him "my obituary, wheres yours"
Gramps - "im not dead yet"
gram - "well you better start writing - it wont be long"
Gramps - "im staying for awhile Gram"
Gram as she throws a vanilla cookie at him from Aldi "keep eating these and we will see how long you last"
Grampa picks up the cookie and starts to eat (his 5th at least) - while you can see his brain cranking away at the thought of his own obituary.......
I keep reading and make some verbal changes to her - then I turn the page over and read this-
"husband was never satisfied with what I made him to eat and he cried all the time". I can feel her eyes on me as I read this sentence and I look up at her shaking my head......Then I start to laugh - laugh so hard my eyes are watering- my gram is laughing too and rubbing her hands together like shes trying to warm them.....
Gramps looks up from his own thoughts about cookies and obituaries and looks startled
Gramps "what are you guys laughing about?"
We continue to laugh and he is now upset because he believes its about him.
Gramps "Come on what are you cackling about?"
laughing continues and
gram - "waa waa waaa Mikey" (remember his name is steve and his brothers is mikey)
Gramps "Well I am going to write mine right now and its going to say how I wish I married a woman who didnt read and she never made me lunch" (as hes eating an egg and toast that she has prepared with his Aldi cookies"
Gram threw another cookie at him like she was throwing a treat to a dog
I tell them both they are crazy. I also tell her she may not put that in her obituary as I think it may not look as funny to everyone else as it did us.
We talked about many other things last night - where they want to be buried and where the funeral should be and her songs and favorite flowers. Grampa sat back and ate cookies and drank cheap instant coffee.
Even writing their obituaries with them is somehow fun.....As I drove home later, I thought about the gravity of that situation. I fear the day they leave my life......
There is so much to live for